


Everthing is Broke

by HiAjay



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hale Family, Always Female Stiles Stilinski, F/M, Hurt Stiles, Jealous Derek, Past Relationship(s), Protective Derek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 13:42:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8492029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiAjay/pseuds/HiAjay
Summary: (TRIGGER WARNING; PLEASE, PLEASE, if you are triggered by emotional or physical abuse, please please be careful reading this.)





	

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek wasn’t the cheating type. And no matter how much Stiles loved him, she wasn’t that kind of a women.
> 
> It didn’t stop her, from thinking about Derek. It didn’t stop her from calling Derek in her sleep next to her Ex. She feels guilty, and wrong. Especially when she knew that Derek had his girlfriend, Jennifer there with him. That Derek even had a girlfriend.
> 
> Derek  
> 7:41  
> “Friends visit, and you‘re a friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AGAIN: TRIGGER WARNING. There is going to be descriptions of physical and emotional abuse. Dealing with anxiety, depression, and PTSD.)This story is a little ... different. This is a more personal to me. The reason why is because the messages that you are reading, that you are going through in this one, are real. were real at some point. This is a story where I made Stiles represent me (the characters may be fiction, but who they represent are very real. Please keep this in mind). This is the story of how I met my Derek. So this is more then just a Sterek fanfiction. This is my soulmate story, how I met my husband. and almost everything he and I have gone through.
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoy this one. I means a lot to me.

Stiles’ hands were shaking. She couldn’t believe it, he answered her. He seriously answered her. It wasn’t late at night and she wasn’t going to be a cliché. This wasn’t some stupid TV show where a girl is crying late at night in her bedroom and calls her friend up and they fall in love from there. But he answered, so maybe she is a little of a cliché.

_Stiles_  
_6:29 pm_  
_“You were right. He dumped me. I probably should have listened to you sooner.”_

Stiles didn’t think anything of it when she sent it. She was already in her room crying her eyes out and on the brink of a panic attack because of some idiot that she thought could’ve changed her life completely. But here she is in her room, sitting on her bed and trying to talk to a guy that never really noticed her anyway.

_Derek_  
_6:29 pm_  
_“Well, that makes two of us then.”_

It took Stiles a hot second to stare at her phone and read the message before she’s typing back, and it takes her awhile, working with her shaking hands and tearing eyes.

_Stiles_  
_6:30 pm_  
_“Oh my god … I‘m so sorry.”_

_Derek_  
_6:33 pm_  
_“Shit happens. She left, and I can‘t really trust her to be in my life anyway.”_

_Stiles_  
_6:38 pm_  
_“Shit may happen. But that doesn‘t mean it doesn‘t hurt. But I can see what you mean, not trusting her.”_

Stiles feels a little concerned, She doesn’t know Derek, at least not well. The met freshman year of high school and Stiles remembers it like it was yesterday. Derek was that athletic kid who was cocky and a know it all. He was smart .. Funny. He showed up the out of nowhere and Stiles remembers seeing her friends introduce themselves and making him apart of their little gang of misfits.

He’s fit, and it scared Stiles how well and smoothly he made her and her friends work. Before it was barely being held together, there had been problems with boyfriends and girlfriends, things like that. But when he showed up, Stiles had her friends back, her family.

Derek, he was talkative and always knew how to make her smile, even when he wasn’t trying. He was into sports and loved reading in the library. He was so diverse that it almost hurt Stiles to see one human being so different inside. The more time that Stiles spent with him, the more she realized she was falling in love with someone who will never notice her that way.

You see, Stiles wasn’t the prettiest girl in school. Her hair was long and unmanageable, her eyes, big and round with a honey tint. Moles on her pale skin. With glasses, you know, the ones with the dark frames. Yeah, that was Stiles. Derek, he, he was dark haired, colored eyes and built like a wall. A smile that could light up a whole room. Derek had all the girls he wanted, and she, she had her best friend Scott. Who she told everything too. Scott knew how much it hurt Stiles to see Derek just smile at other girls the way he does with her and seem completely natural.

Scott was there when Derek left, Stiles remembers that too. Derek at the time was dating Kate, a senior, and she was the worst human being Stiles ever had the misfortune of meeting. But Derek loved her, and Derek did everything for her. Stiles though she wanted to be there for him, her hatred for Kate kept her at a distance. Even if her love for Derek kept her by his side.

They had their last fight, Stiles supposes. It was by this time that Stiles came to terms with her love for him, that she decided to let him go. He was her friend, but Stiles didn’t want to get hurt. Not again. Stiles sees Derek in the courtyard of the school, he’s just moping there on his own. Scott, along with other members of her friends went to check on him. But he just pushed everyone away.

Scott let Stiles know that Derek didn’t want to talk to anyone, and that maybe she should see if he’d talk to her. But Stiles knew better. She was going to get attached and it was going to burn her. Stiles brushed him off. And like that, a few days later, Derek came looking for her and told her he was leaving. She didn’t know where and she didn’t know if she’d ever see him again. But she smiled anyway, and told him to try and keep his nose clean.

_Derek_  
_6:39 pm_  
_“Yeah, it hurts. But we‘ll both survive. I‘m sorry he had the chance to hurt.”_

_Stiles_  
_6:41 pm_  
_“Honestly. I don‘t feel like I will. The kicker of the whole thing, he didn‘t even fight for us. He didn‘t stop me. Then had the nerve to tell me that he hopes I find someone better.”_

_Derek_  
_6:42 pm_  
_“What happened? I know you, you‘re a survivor. You have friends, You and I can make it.”_

Stiles feels her heart stop, pain and amazement stings her chest. The story was long and painful. She explains that her boyfriend, that they both knew, dumped her and just let her leave. A year of Stiles trying to keep the relationship afloat and that bastard lets her sink along with the ship. Stiles feels dirty and mishandled. Her dad went out to pick her up because she’d wandered off to some park when she call him to get her.

Stiles knew she couldn’t drive her jeep in her state, leaving it in the parking lot of her Ex’s parking lot. It embarrassed Stiles to tell Derek what he did to her. But Derek was her friend. And he was there for her when she really needed him.

Derek was friends with her Ex, they were roommates for the year that Stiles was dating him. Derek tried to warn her almost four months in. But Stiles couldn’t have Derek, so she was taking the closest thing she could find. And she knows it was wrong of her, she knows that if she had just told Derek that she loved him … maybe she wouldn’t be here.

When her Ex was living with Derek, Stiles’ mind always wandered over to Derek’s bedroom, where he was sleeping with his then girlfriend. She always wondered what Derek would have done if she, if she snuck in and asked him to come out with her. But she’d laugh to herself, because Derek would come out with her, but he’d talk to her, about music, sports. Derek wasn’t the cheating type. And no matter how much Stiles loved him, she wasn’t that kind of women.

It didn’t stop her, from thinking about Derek. It didn’t stop her from calling Derek in her sleep next to her Ex. She feels guilty, and wrong. Especially when she knew that Derek had his girlfriend, Jennifer there with him. That Derek even had a girlfriend. But she leaves this out of her message to Derek.

_Stiles_  
_6:52 pm_  
_“Long story short, I was there at the park, just crying. Still crying. Thank you, I just don‘t want to think about how I‘m going to survive tonight.”_

_Derek_  
_6:54 pm_  
_“Are you still at the park?”_

_Stiles_  
_6:54_  
_“No, I‘m, um, I‘m home.”_

_Derek_  
_6:55_  
_“Oh. I was going to pick you up.”_

Stiles’ heart skips, she knows he’s saying it because they’re friends and Derek’s never been one to just leave someone in need. But the thought was nice, to think that Derek was going to come to her rescue when she needed him.

_Stiles_  
_6:57_  
_“Oh, no I- thank you. I‘m not sure you would‘ve wanted to see the mess that I was. Am.”_

Stiles laughs to herself. Wiping her eyes and blowing her nose, she might feel a little better, she doesn’t know what it is. But she’s glad that Derek answered her when he did. Stiles’ dad knows on her door and peaks his head in.

“Hey, kiddo.” he smiles at her, “You doing okay?” Stiles gives her father a weak smile. Her throat hurts and she doesn’t want to start crying again when she’s just stopped. Her dad smiles back at her and tells her that dinner would be ready in awhile.

_Derek_  
_6:59_  
_“Well to bad. I‘d go to your house if I had the gas. Work is killer here.”_

_Stiles_  
_7:06 pm_  
_“I‘d meet you half way. I wouldn‘t want you drive all the way across town just to meet with me.”_

_Derek_  
_7:08_  
_“You know me better then that.”_  
_“You know you‘re always welcome here, New flat mates here.”_

That’s right, Derek lived across town in a four bedroom house that his parents owned. Stiles, she met her Ex through mutual friends. And it wasn’t until they were together for two maybe three months that he brought up moving in with a friend of his. Stiles was mildly curious, it didn’t bother her too much, she’s still living with her Dad. She may be twenty and going on nothing but hope, but she wasn’t wasting her time.

So her Ex calls her over one night to meet this new roommate that he was going to have. And Stiles not thinking much of it, goes over and it was ten minutes later when Derek walks in through the front door. Stiles heart stops in her chest. And she can’t breathe. Derek locks eyes with her and Stiles feels the world stop. Stiles can’t move, her Ex laughs and greets Derek, but he’s eyes don’t leave hers and she can’t remember for the life of her how long its been since she’s seen those beautiful colored eyes.

Her Ex introduces them but Derek stops him.

“We know each other. Its nice to see you again, Stiles.”

Stiles swallows at the hard lump in her throat and she nods. He looks just as good as the day he left. Still fit, with dark unruly hair and that smile. Still standing there having no idea how bad Stiles wants to just melt in his arms.

“You‘ve met before?” Her Ex, Matt, asks.

Stiles nods, “In high school, we, uh, we used to go to the same high school.” Matt looks between the two before he shrugs them off and talks about moving arrangements. All the while Derek keeps looking over at Stiles like he can’t believe she’s there. Almost like she can’t.

Stiles left shortly after that, she couldn’t be in the same room anymore, with a man she needs to have more of. And a man she can’t stand. Stiles left, saying her goodbyes and leaving out the door as quick as she could. And as soon as she was home she called Scott over.

“He was - He was there! Scott. Derek was there. He - He still looks the same, I , I thought he‘d left this town behind him when he left high school. I, I can‘t believe it, I -”

“You still love him.” Scott finishes for her. Like that, Stiles doesn’t realize she’s tearing up. Because she’s in a relationship that she hates and the man she can’t have is here in the same town as her.

Yeah, Stiles remembers. She remembers well.

_Stiles_  
_7:11 pm_  
_“You do? Are the at least cooler then the last one?”_

_Derek_  
_7:12 pm_  
_“I think they are.”_

_Stiles_  
_7:13 pm_  
_“Well … That‘s good. I guess that‘s all that matters.”_

_Derek_  
_7:17 pm_  
_“Yeah, they help around. So that‘s good.”_  
_“But like I said, you‘re always welcome over here.”_

_Stiles_  
_7:30 pm_  
_“Thank you. I thought it‘d be a little weird for me to visit, like I‘d make everyone there feel weird. Y‘know?”_

_Derek_  
_7:41_  
_“Friends visit, and you‘re a friend.”_

That’s right, Stiles almost forgot. She’s his friend, just like she’s always been. And she was crazy to think that she even had a chance with him. Derek has always been really gentle and sweet with her. Maybe he felt sorry for her. Stiles wasn’t overweight or anything. She was, well she was just curvy. And it always made her a little uncomfortable. But Derek always made sure she wasn’t focusing on her imperfections. And that made her feel special.

Even if he did it with every one.

_Stiles_  
_7:48_  
_“ … Um, thank you, Derek. For looking out and being a good friend.”_

_Derek_  
_7:48_  
_“Always. I know what its like to need a friend.”_

There was a smiley face at the end of that one, Stiles felt a little at ease. Like her feeling were numb now and she was going to be okay. She didn’t answer after that. She went downstairs when her dad call her for dinner. She didn’t eat much, maybe she wasn’t feeling up too it. The night was hard, she was tossing and turning and waking up almost every hour. Because the nightmare was too real.

Few knew about Matt. Fewer knew that he was always a little to rough with her. Stiles was always scared of doing something wrong around him. Or accidentally saying something that might embarrass him. Stiles wasn’t always okay. She’s met men who’s hands were always too rough, their voices were always too loud.

Her dad would wake her up from a violent nightmare and she’d cry for hours because someone got too close and tore her apart.Matt, once, Stiles was having a panic attack, and he swung at her. It hurt and it made her rethink her the next time she chose to have a panic attack around him. Stiles, she never have the easiest dating life. And she hated herself every day since. Its been a few years now, three, to be exact. Three years since she’s gotten out of a vicious cycle of constant fear and violence.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of why I've been taking so long on updating. I've been so consumed with this one and work. Its been a real hassel. But I promise, I will try and get the lastest chapter for "The Lycan" out as soon as possible.
> 
> THANK YOU.


End file.
